Do I move? Do I stay?
My family is here.
His father is there.
There are so many factors to consider.
Too many.
It's beginning to wear on me, and I feel myself withdrawing again from everyone around me. My friends. My family. Even my own child.
I come home from work, strip to my underwear and fall back on my bed with a sigh of relief, and I usually lay there for a good half hour staring up at the ceiling while rubbing my bare skin against the cool of the sheets. The renters before me left phosphorescent star stickers behind which the maintenance had carelessly painted over. They still glow, and sometimes I will count them when I'm lying in the dark, unable to sleep.
There's 18 of them.
I find myself wondering if there were more, did they try to get them off and finally say fuck it? Or did they consider the next tenant might enjoy them?
I enjoy them, shining through the paint like that, perhaps as a subtle sign from God herself.
This isnt depression. I'm just having one of those days, that's all, I tell myself over and over again. This isn't depression.
So why am I always so goddamn sad lately?
3 things Boogers said:
Hey! Where did this post come from?! I'm not sure why I checked since you haven't been writing here. Six days later is better than never.
I always try to cheer up my sad friends and/or family. But that isn't always a good idea. Cuz its okay to be sad sometimes. My kid told me that once. If he believes that, then its good enough for me.
Hope you are figuring things out.
You sneaky sneak!
I need an update....doing better?
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